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Yesterday I decided to end my quest to summit Mt Everest, and although I am still torn and wondering whether or not it was the right decision, I thought that I would try and explain to you why.
Dave Hahn always says that he wants to climb mountains with people who climb with their head. Now, I don't always understand everything that Dave Hahn says (ha) and he says a lot of things (ha again), but what I think he means by this is that he wants team mates and climbers who think about the repercussions of their actions, who think about how they are physically feeling, and who don't push themselves into dangerous situations.
Secondly, my dad ended his trip between Camps 2 and 3 (he says its closer to Camp 3, but whatever - ha). The end result is that after May 3rd he wasn't climbing with me anymore. So, for the first time in all our adventures, I had to be climbing by myself. Its been a bummer. Why I climb is for fun, and to be with my dad. And over the past 3 weeks its turned from being a fun experience to really more of a chore. Dave and Linden are awesome guides and great people, but they are not my dad.
So, part of my job as a climber is to think (I know this sounds funny, but I know that a lot of climbers don't think). I have to think about how I am feeling, how strong I am, how much energy I have, and how much I "want it." As we started out our summit bid climb yesterday (the 17th), I was feeling physically strong, but I started to doubt that risking so very much was worth the summit to me.
I don't expect others to understand why I lost my desire to go for the summit and to take the risks needed to do so. All I know is that you just can't manufacture desire to do this. So, as we got to our first break through the Ice fall I told Dave and Linden about my thoughts, and we decided to re-assess and walk back down. What I also didn't want to happen was to push myself to a very high point on the mountain, say 26,000 feet, have the winds blowing at 40 miles per hour, and me not wanting to go on. Then I would have not only have put our entire teams' summit chances in jeopardy, but I would have also created a huge safety situation. People would have had to put their lives on the line to get me off the mountain, and I wasn't going to allow that to happen.
After we got back to Basecamp yesterday, I knew I had to make a decision. The more I thought about it, the more the right decision became clear - but repercussions of that decision were so scary to me that it took me awhile to make it. I'm was (and am) afraid that people will be disappointed in me, that people will believe that I gave up without trying. As I sit here I struggle with the same thoughts, did I give it my best shot? Am I just giving up? The more I think about it though, the more I am reminded of the reason I love going on expeditions so much, and that is because I love to climb, not because I love to summit. The summit is the icing on the cake, but you can still have a great cake without icing. I've done some amazing climbing here, and I think the difficulty of the climbing and the way I've climbed safely and quickly on this mountain has been as good as anyone.
However, I still have a lot of regrets. The repercussions of my decision have made this last day a hard one. I feel horrible everything that has been "invested" in me over the last year to get me to this point and I will not summit. For a year I have been training, buying gear, ice climbing, backpacking and getting ready for a summit bid on Everest, and then when it comes along I have decided not to go. I know my teachers at school have made great sacrifices and invested a lot of time outside the classroom with me to allow me to go on this trip. I thank all the people who have been rooting me on, and sending me messages encouraging me on this climb.
But I also know that it is the right decision. I do have regrets about this, and I know in the coming months that I will have even more, but I just don't think that I am willing to risk what you have to risk to try to summit this mountain. I also think that it is just too difficult for me to access those risks up high without my dad being there. And if I assess those risks incorrectly, the costs are just too much.
So, all I ask of you is to know that I tried my hardest and please don't be disappointed in me for not reaching the summit. Sometimes its really not about the summit of the mountain, but what you've learned and experienced along the way.
Perhaps climbing a mountain isn't really about the mountain at all.
Sara McGahan
Another surreal day of spectacular hiking and beautiful mountain vistas... mixed with up-close and sad recognition for the cost of lost homes and disrupted lives in the Khumbu Valley. I suppose it is surreal because we would never have chosen to be "tourists" in a disaster area... But here we are. We left Namche at around 8 this morning under perfectly blue skies... And fervently hoping that this meant that the fixed wing planes were coming and going freely from Lukla... Dispersing the crowd we'd heard so much about. The first part of the day was spent in the forests... Where there was little sign of the earthquake. But the bigger portion of the day was spent in the succession of farms and small villages in the valley bottom outside the National Park boundaries. Of course, many houses and buildings were untouched... but a significant number were cracked and damaged beyond reasonable repair. Very few had collapsed... And we were told that there had been few injuries and few deaths in these areas... Probably because Sherpas would have been outside and working hard at midday when the quake struck. And sure enough, the phenomenally strong work ethic in the area had men out moving rocks, plastering and repairing damage wherever possible when we strolled by. People without any form of insurance stood in front of ruined structures, in this fabulously beautiful setting, and smiled and bid us "Namaste" as we passed. Those that we knew, asked us first if we were all ok before acknowledging that they themselves would need to start over completely. We walked until about 2:30 PM to reach Lukla just as the raindrops began to fall. The town and the airstrip appear largely intact... And thankfully, the crowds (mobs...as we'd heard them described a few days ago) seem absent. So far, so good with our plan for coming down the valley slowly so as to allow things to normalize in front of us.
One of our Sherpa team startled me today as we took tea in his sister's place in Monjo... He thanked me for saving his life. I was baffled and embarrassed until he explained that my decision (which had actually been made in consultation with Jeff Justman and Chhering Dorjee) to have the Sherpas drop the loads they were carrying for Camp II at Camp I on the day of the big shake had meant they weren't in the Icefall later in the day at the exact wrong time. As I say... I was startled... Hadn't done the math myself. We'd asked them not to carry on to CII because of the threat of snow and avalanches off Nuptse... Not because of imminent earthquakes. But I'm now so incredibly glad that they were well down the icefall and safe for whatever reason. I deserve no credit whatsoever for getting lucky... But our team can take generic credit for having put safety first, once again, and having reaped unexpected benefits.
We are "scheduled" for the first wave of flights to Kathmandu tomorrow. Perhaps luck will still be with us.
Best Regards,
Dave Hahn
The Five Day Climb May 1 - 5 led by RMI Guides Dave Hahn and JM Gorum has returned to Camp Muir after making their summit attempt today. The team reached 12,600' today before being forced to turn around due to route conditions. On Tuesday the group ascended to Camp Muir and spent time yesterday getting in more glacier training and exploring parts of the route before morning their attempt this morning. The group will pack up their gear and decend to Paradise this afternoon.
This is Ed and Seth checking in from 14,200 feet on Denali. Today we dropped 750 vertical feet back down the route to pick up our cache of food and fuel. It took us an hour and a half round trip. The weather has been great all day. We are now well positioned to begin climbing on the upper mountain.
RMI Guides Ed Viesturs and Seth Waterfall
On The Map
It's June already. Do you have a Mount Rainier climb planned this summer? If so, you are probably at the peak of your training efforts and devoting a good amount of energy and time to preparing your body for the big climb. Many people ask,
"What's the most important thing for training right now?"
If you are less than a week away from your climb, you'll want to rest. By all means, do some activity — but just enough to keep you moving — not so much that you arrive fatigued. You'll want to maximize your sleep and relaxation this week. Also, be sure that you're eating plenty of carbohydrates to ensure you start the climb with a full tank.
If your climb is still a few weeks or even months away, then you have a great opportunity to add to your endurance.
I like to keep things simple. My recommendation to people training for mountaineering is to include at least one long hike each week. How long? Well, your summit day will start in the middle of the night and you may well be climbing and descending for upwards of 14 hours. So, it's important to condition yourself to be on your feet for that long.
Practically, if you live near Mt. Rainier you can train on any number of long steep hikes in the area, or even hike up to Camp Muir for practice. One big weekly hike is my minimum, but if you can you'll benefit from back-to-back days of hiking, or maybe even sneak in a midweek hike as well. A man I know was out of shape with only two months to go before his Mt. Rainier climb. He realized he was behind on his training, took vacation time, and hiked Mt. Si, near Seattle, eighteen times in one month! I thought it was a bit extreme and advised him to pay attention to his knees and joints, but he did it — and he made it all the way to the summit and back.
If you live in a flat city you can still get in good training. I've done urban hikes before to get in condition for a climb. Once, when I was getting ready for a big climb while I lived in London, UK, I would put a metal weight and some water-bottles in a pack and walk all day, stopping at restaurants to eat and visiting the occasional museum. It's fun and a great way to see a city. This winter in Seattle I set a goal of walking three miles each day. It's great for the feet, legs, and back and it's easy to plan to walk places instead of driving. Arrive at work or a friend's house and tell them you walked — you'll inspire them too! It might be tough to get elevation in flatter regions, but don't let that stop you from building endurance.
If you can't hike or walk anywhere then bicycling is about as close as you can get to hiking as an alternative. It works the same energy-systems and many of the same muscle groups. If you do a lot of cycling, also do jumping exercises, perhaps even get a jump-rope and use it for a few minutes every day. That will help with the coming-down part of the climb. Cycling builds strength and endurance but doesn't replicate the impact of stepping down. The combination of both is very effective.
Top three tips for June:
1.
Make the main thing - the main thing: It's a long endurance climb with a 35lb pack. Go long in training and wear a pack when possible.
2.
Back up your long hikes with shorter sessions: 60 - 90 minute efforts at a higher intensity. Stairs, stair-master, elliptical machine, cycling or spin class are good options.
3.
Mix up your training: Some long and steady 'conversational' pace sessions; some hard and steady; some intervals of 1 minute of very hard effort followed by 1 minute of rest.
A parting thought: I used to get close to a climb and worry that I hadn't done enough of this or of that. Right now you've done what you've done. Its best to take out a calendar, figure out how many long hikes you can fit in, block out those time and then use the other days for shorter sessions. Take a day or two of rest as well, you'll benefit from doing so. As the guides will tell you on the mountain, don't worry about tomorrow or next week, just focus on now. Focus on how you can complete — and enjoy — today's workout. You've trained hard and what you do now will make a difference on the mountain.
Good luck.
John Colver
Author of Fit By Nature by Mountaineers Books.
www.adventx.com
For more information please see our
resources for mountaineering fitness and training.
100% team success on Pico de Orizaba!! We really had to dig deep for this one, but the months of training, hard work, and discipline landed us on top of the third tallest peak in North America today.
From Piedra Grande we head straight up an old aqueduct turned trail with loose rock and scree covering the winding trail. Ixta had us prepared for this though and the team made short work of the trail and up to the base of a feature called the Labyrinth. True to its name it’s a winding maze like feature made of rock that ascending teams must scramble and navigate in order to gain access to the glacier above. Once there, the never ending descending escalator begins. It takes us about three and half hours to climb from base to top. With no good place to take a break, it’s certainly a marathon. The team dug deep, pulled together and summitted the highest point in Mexico.
RMI Guide Dominic Cifelli
The Mt. Rainier Summit Climb teams, led be RMI Guides Pete Van Deventer and Matias Francis crested the crater rim at 8:15 a.m. Although the sun is shining, the skies are a bit hazy. The team will spend some time on top before starting the descent.
Congratulations to today's summit climbers!
We got a casual start today. The day’s hike was approximately 8 miles to Paine Grande Refugio. We walked through the rolling and rocky hillside along Lago Grey. The landscape is mostly barren due to the 2011 fire that swept through the frontside of the “W”. The paste green colors of Lago Grey and the floating icebergs from glacier Grey took up most of our views. As we descended towards the Refugio we got a nice view of Lago Peohe (pay-way). Short day has us enjoying views of the Horns and Paine Grande, while some rain hits the windows of the bar, finally some traditional Patagonia weather.
Everyone is doing well and tomorrow we’ll see what the weather does regarding hiking into the French valley. Thanks for following along.
RMI Guide Mike King & Team
Thankfully, it was another sparkling sun and blue sky day. We got out of Pheriche by 8:15 AM and got walking out of the alpine zone and down into the land of the living. Helicopters continued to buzz back and forth overhead, traveling to
Everest Base or to Gorak Shep, most likely. We encountered a few more trekkers and porters still heading up valley today, but drastically fewer than normal, which made for another quiet and easy day on the trails. We took our time, stopping in Pangboche to check on acquaintances and to pay respects to victims, but then we moved on across the river to Deboche and up to Thyangboche, which was abnormally calm and quiet. The classic and grand monastery was visibly damaged and seemed abandoned for the moment. We sat and rested in the quiet for a time before heading down the big hill and into waves of blooming rhododendrons. Then it was up the next big hill and along the dramatic traverse trail to
Namche. We saw plenty of eagles and lammergeiers, Himalayan Tahr... And lots of evidence of massive rocks having crossed the trail in the quake. We've found our way back to our favorite place in Namche... Camp De Base. Damage in Namche seems slight, but we have been reminded that the earth isn't through moving yet. There have been aftershocks that we apparently haven't noticed in our tent environments. But here in town, everybody seems much more aware of them in a place where buildings shake.
We'll keep our guard up, but we'll also avail ourselves of some quality 11,000 ft sleep... The kind we haven't experienced in a month.
Best Regards,
RMI Guide Dave Hahn
On The Map
The team met for one last breakfast this morning. Recalling our climb of Pico de Orizaba and our other exploits from the trip while laughing and drinking coffee. Only 24 hours ago we were standing at the summit and oh what a difference a day makes. It’s a great way to end a great trip and seems like yesterday that we met up in Mexico City as strangers. I’m impressed and proud of this group on and off the mountain. I look forward to climbing with each and every one of them in the future, but for now, we’re excited to get back to our families and friends. This is the RMI Mexico team signing off for the last time of the trip and season.
RMI Guide Dominic Cifelli
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Sara, when I first heard about your decision not to summit, I wanted to jump to conclusions however, our friends helped me to understand what a strong person you are and we are all DEFINITELY SO VERY PROUD OF YOU. All of us were waiting to hear the story from you before being disappointed, and we all know the sacrifices you made and if you are happy, we are happy. Although summiting would have been an amazing experience, if you are okay without it, so are we. We are so proud of how far you made it and you will definitely go down in history maybe not for the summit but for the smart decision you made. You will be an example and a legend for future climbers. Hopefully when you come home, we can all catch up and you can fill us in on all of the wonderful memories you have made and you can reminisce on the climb. Yeah, we will wonder what could’ve happened but our curiosity is trumped by our happiness that you are safe and sound at home with us. Just know that we are all proud of you and you are a fantastic person and everyone who is disappointed in you, does not know your story. You know I am a harsh person and I hold you up to the highest standards, and even I am totally okay with your decision and GOT YOUR BACK.
I love you, Sara and hope you have some quick flights home because I cannot wait to see you!
Love, Kathryn M.
Posted by: Kathryn M on 5/20/2011 at 8:14 am
Sara and Bill,
We have all been following your blog and praying for you.
All we have to do is look at the incredible pictures to see that you have ACCOMPLISHED more than most of us ever would dream of even attempting. So, congratulations on your climb and the successes you experienced along the way. I think there are many folks in Atlanta who will be happy to have you back safe and sound a little earlier than the original plan.
Posted by: Jennifer Leinweber on 5/20/2011 at 6:50 am
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